WELCOME to my freaking fabulous blog!

FINALLY, the time has come….. Actually, the time has come, and passed… come, and passed… come, and passed. So technically, this is way overdue.

Whatever. I’m here and I’m doing it now. So you just hush your mouth right now! ......Now, about WHAT has actually passed—or first, you probably want to know a little about me and what this blog is about…. or maybe not, but too bad so sad.

My name is Ashley Brown, and I am a 23 year-old, two-time cancer survivor and current cancer patient. I am now being treated for a second relapse with ALL leukemia. So yes, that that makes it my third throw down with cancer. Awesome, right? I know. What was God thinking?? …..Hopefully conjuring up some magnificent plan for me to eventually rule the world and save all the starving babies.

Buuutttt, in the meantime, I will begin a new kind of therapy for my “disease” (I do not like that sickly word, but I'll use it) called “Target-cell/T-cell therapy.” And, in case you didn’t knowww--it is the newest, AND the kewwwlest therapy on the block! It’s used in many different illness cases; however, right now it’s being used to treat ME J Because I’m awesome J And I like to try cool new things J And cool new things think I’m cool too and wanna hang out and be awesome together J

Anyways, technically there is this big long word for the treatment I am getting, but no one ever remembers it and neither do I. So I am just going to give you the shortcut name that even the doctors use and that is “BITE Therapy.” Which, just FYI, my mom always says is “a perfect fit for me.” I honestly don’t know what she means by this, but all I can think of is that she thinks it either represents my sassiness, or that she believed me last month when I told her I was a vampire….. Who knows? She’s weird. But either way, I love her like a mofo… and moms are always right J

Back to what I was sayinggg...... So I will receive this “BITE” treatment for 28 days, 24/7………....... TWENTY-FOUR-SEVEN!!! I mean, come on…. Isn’t that a little redic? I mean it’s definitely annoying Mister, and I will tell you why right now: Not only do you have to stay in the hospital for like, 15 of those 28 days…. But the REST of the 28 days have to be battled out with a FANNY PACK attached to you at all times! A fanny pack people….. and a fanny pack will never be flattering. NEVER! So not only am I fighting for my life here, but I’m fighting for my so-called “style dignity.” And God knows I didn’t win best dressed in high school due to that beotch who ruined my chances by telling everyone I wanted it..... EVEN THOUGH I DIDN’T!!! I wanted to be "most likely to be president," duh…. and that's what I GOT, yo! Clearly rules over all the "most likeeeys." So suck on that girl who spread that around like butta. Now I rule YOU! Ha. (evil smile, point, and maybe some heaving).

Okay, I’m sorry. You just witnessed two things right there: 1. Me being a whiney baby about treatment that really hasn’t been all that bad except for at the beginning--I mean, it’s saving my life so let's cut it some slack. and 2. Me bringing up hurtful memories from high school that I clearly am not over and desperately need to see a therapist about. However, I don’t know if I can afford that…. So you may end up being my therapist. But we’ll talk more about that later.

Anywaysss, back to the therapy-scoop: After the 28 days, I get about a 2 week break which, lucky you for knowing meee, IS HAPPENING NOW!! Hoooorayyy!! I like to call this  “My New Found Freedom,” because, no joke my friends, you will neva know unless it’s you. Not trying to be a whiney baby--just saying...... It sucks balls.

So, after my "New Found Freedom" (aka 2 weeks off), I will go back and begin another round of this 28 day, 24/7 treatment (wah wah). However, the plus is that instead of staying in the hospital for 15 days like the first time around, I only have to stay around 2 or 3 to make sure I handle it well. Woop de woop!

Finally, after all that goodness is finished, I will have a few free weeks and then I will go in to the hospital to get all pumped up with awesomeness. This awesomeness, called “chemotherapy” and “radiation” will prepare me for my bone marrow transplant—which, by  the way, is not really that awesome in people’s minds when thinking about how it makes them feel and stuff, but luckily it doesn’t care and does its job anyway…… And this is good, because in the end it’s a part of what saves people’s lives.... including mine. No big deal.

Then, last but not least, the bone marrow transplant will take place and—TA-DA! We’re just gonna go ahead and say I am going to be good to go. Of course, I will be stuck in the hospital for a few weeks after the transplant…. Possibly up to a month actually, and I'll maybe hit a few bumps along the way, but that’s okay. Who cares? As long as I’m pimptastically cancer free!

So anyways, for now, here I am…. After literally one month of procrastination, starting my first official blog that I had planned to do forever and a decade ago. And not only has it been one month of procrastination, but like I said: This is also the week I am totally FREE of my therapy! And when I say free, I mean I am not locked up in a hospital room hooked up to a “pod,” nor am I at home hooked up to drugs and walking around with a fanny pack I call Kitty.

This is a great day.

But yeah, that’s the scoop with me! Although it wasn’t anything I planned for this summer, especially since I DID plan to go to California for an internship (ugh), I have accepted the situation and decided to make the best of it……… for the third time…..…. In ten years…..….Shit.

Yes, I have literally been dealing with cancer for ten years of my life. It began when I was 13 and I am now 23. Woof.

Clearly I’m not ecstatic about the situation; However, that doesn’t mean I am a Negative Nancy. I’ve learned that it’s okay not to be happy all the time when going through something like this, and that being unhappy once in a while doesn’t make you negative. It makes you sane. I think if someone were happy the whole time they were going through something like this then they would be IN-sane. Seriously. I think I’d have to karate-kick someone I didn’t like in the wiener at least five times a day to be that happy.

Anywaysss…….. enough of my sick pleasures. You’re probably wondering, “Okay, thanks for the in-depth description of the roadmap you will be taking over the next few months as well as the scarring visuals at the end there.…. Now what’s the point of your blog?” (Or not, but let’s pretend like that is your question.)

“Well, that is a perfectly good question my friend! Please give me a second so I can answer that in the best possible way.”……………………………................

Okay. The reason I am writing this is mostly for me, but also to keep people in the loop of what’s going on during my dramatic episode of “TRUE LIFE: I HAVE CANCER FOR THE THIRD FREAKING TIME AND I’M ONLY 23.” I’m not much for putting personal info on Facebook, because I believe that it nor Twitter is the place to post about our life story so that everyone and their grandma can read it…. That’s what blogs were made for! So someone can CHOOSE to read about something if we want—not so we get on the internet and the first thing that pops up on our screen is an in-depth description of your best friend’s, boyfriend’s  12-yr old sister’s dramatic breakup that happened at the watering hole on Sunday.

I’m writing this blog so I don’t go IN-sane and so I can fill in my peeps who want to know a little bit more about what it’s like to go through something like this.

This is also a place you can look if you are having a bad day, because I can almost promise you (after the first few weeks) that there will be at least one blog post making fun of something OR someone on here. This is due to the fact that almost everything in the world annoys me and I need somewhere to share or I WILL explode. I blame it all on cancer.

Finally, this is a place where I hope to inspire people. As we grow up, we lose sight of our innocence and it’s a lot harder to focus on the good things in life. A lot of times, when something bad happens to us we let it consume ourselves….. and that seems to be what our life is made up of for a long time, if not forever for some people.

Every day, especially around my age, I see things written on Facebook and Twitter by people about how they have the worst life in the world and blahh blah-blah blahhhhh……....…….... Dude, I’m seriously not going to waste my time writing an inspirational number of paragraphs right now about how good we all have it. I could, but it’s forgettable. Just like any other old savvy “inspirational” Twitter account (Which, by the way, are so contradicting--I can't take all that confusion!).

All I am going to say is pretty much what I say anytime I start feeling sorry for myself: It’s a lot easier to pick out the few bad things in life than the numerously good. Remember that there is ALWAYS someone out there who has it worse than you. And of course, everything happens for a reason (everyone says it—it’s annoying—but face it, it’s true).

Anyways, so that’s pretty much the reasoning behind this. Basically………… I WANNA DO IT, K?!

Now, if you’re sincerely interested in knowing how I am doing, then that’s fine…. Please indulge yourselves in my online-journal of life-threatening adventures anytime you please! (See how that all made sense but in a creepy way?)

If you are only interested in getting some free shits and giggles from time to time due to having a bad day…… then again, please indulge.

Howeverrr, if you are only interested in reading this because of these next two things I am about to discuss, then you truly have no business here. Hey, I’m a cool gal—I promise! I genuinely love everyone in this world aside from the cow. And if you know me, you know “the cow.” We forgive the cow, but we never forget the cow.

Anyways, 2 reasons you do not belong here: Other than the fact that you are a child of the devil….

 A-You just want to be nosey. And even though you’ve never been a huge fan of my quirky awesomeness, you just HAVE to know some dirt so that if and when my name is brought up somewhere, you can talk talk talk and act like you know everything that’s going on in my life, or you can like, “OMG, pretend we are BEST friends!” even though we’ve never ever talked before this cancerasaurus came up and bit me in the ass.

Or…..

B—You don’t like me at all and you want to sit around at your 9^th grade sleepover and read it in front of all of your friends so you can all laugh about it together, and THEN take a picture of all of you there flipping off the blog (…..Yes, blog. What is this world coming too?) and THEN post it on the internet with the caption “I wonder who this is to?? Hahahahaha”..........Bitches.

No. Please don’t. Because if you are doing one of these two things, I am just going to assume you have a big LESBIAN crush on me (name that movie!) and I will hunt you down and break your heart by telling you I like boys…. And boys only. See? Right there. The heartbreak is already taken care of. So therefore no one like that should be taking the time to read my blog and be a meanie head. Ta-daaa! (Again.... "B" may or may not be another high school memory we need to deal with in our therapy sessions..... We'll get back to that.)

Alright, well this is the humongous introduction that was created by my prolonged procrastination, and I am so sorry you had to deal with all that. I really just had some explaining and catching up to do on some shiz! I promise not all of my posts will be this long and explanative about my therapy plan…. But ya know, I had to get the outline explained so everything will make sense when I get down to the good stuff in the future! Pweease forgive me.. L

Since I wasn’t writing during my first month of therapy, I will probably spend the first few posts telling you a little about what went down that the ol’ Siteman Center in the past month which will be more than entertaining. I will be fillin’ ya in on my day-to-day diagnosis on what and how I am doing, too…….Not to mention that I will be discussing whatever HOT topic is annoying me that particular day (to relieve stress, not to be meeean, duh).  I might even post a surprise photo on here if you’re lucky! Heck, I just don’t know--depends on what mood I’m in. Some days you may just be surprised! So that means you’re gonna want to check in every once in a while to see what’s crackin’! J

Alright, well, sorry I’m not sorry this blog introduction was so long…….. It's just going to be so AWESOOOME, I am telling you!! I know I tell long stories with interesting side details that makes everything I am talking about like, five times longer, buttt.... Like it or leave it until tomorrow…. we’ll deal then.

-FFCG